It is so crazy how things change so fast,
One day we are are on top of the world…Looking down.
Then it comes crashing down…down to the fucking ground.
Rummaging through everything trying to find a meaning; as if you were given permission to search the lost and found.
My plan is sound, or so I thought.
It is crazy how we went from wanting to graduate and be doctors, lawyers or astronauts.
To damn Ill drop out,
Hell,
I doubt I’ll even see 25.
But dead I’m not.
I’m quite alive.
I try to literally seize the day,
Grab a hold of it and never let go.
Cherish it.
Cherish the moments with my son,
With my wife
Yea this is all that matters in my life.
Tag: Life
Daily Prompt: Broken
Broken beyond repair,
My heart has found a new home…despair.
I live life without a care.
I used to think it was cool to do so,
but I have learned it has left me bare.
Cold and forgotten.
Sometimes I think caring is necessary.
I feel like a bird trapped in an aviary.
Let me go, let me live.
Living without care does not mean you are free.
No I live without a care because I’m broken, bruised and forgotten.
My mind is a rotten depressing trove of unique thoughts that I cling to dearly.
To me they feel like the building blocks to my life.
I enjoy the sadness and when I begin to find happiness, I find a way to crush it.
Break and bruise it. So it, with my life can be left in shambles, irreparable.
When all is lost I will look in the mirror, bottle in hand and say…
I don’t care.
Heavy.
Time weighs heavy on the body,
If you look at the old me, well I mean the young me, you can tell very well,
Where my skin has certainly fell.
Oh the stories these old bones could tell.
That time she left and my heart felt so heavy,
Hell that one time I bought that brand new Chevy…Oh I loved that Chevy.
Oh yes I have seen and done it all.
Hell I dont stand so tall…anymore.
See time is heavy as it drags old skin and feabile bones,
Down to earth, returning what is owed.
Death is at the door screaming pick up the phone.
Time is heavy, you can feel it in your soul, in your heart and in your bones.
Oh yes I have seen and done it all.
I guess it is time to answer that call…
Goodnight Son
I sit in a office all day wishing I was there,
Jolly sounding toys piercing the air.
Laughing and smiling without a care.
Wishing I could go play with my son. He just turned 1
But no I sit there
with a blank stare.
I get about an hour a night. Before its goodnight son I love you son. Sorry I don’t see you son. I’m doing this so you can have some cool toys, the food you need and everything else to give you a good life. Or so I think. Is it really needed? Of course it is but would he do better with less things and more time? Time is precious. Especially when its two days a week.
See I see him on the weekend
Literally the week end It feels like I have missed the entire week
For that check
I’m wreck
I’m in debt
Life’s too real
I cant feel
I have been robbed of IT and still
I have been taught to go with motion without emotion
Its the only way to survive in this ocean.
Sorry for rambling. Goodnight Son…
Agoraphobia.
Crunch crunch crun..
I hear the footsteps and I feel obligated to run.
The smell is putrid,
Like milk that is long overdo,
Like a pot of rotten stew.
Its gross,
Most
Gross I certainly say.
I really should have stayed in today.
Because when I go outside,
I feel as though I may die.
My fear and anxiety engulfs me one step at a time.
Making me feel as I may lose my mind.
The smell of everything in this city is overwhelming,
One million people should not be allowed to live so close to each other.
I really need to move to another.
Daily Prompt: Imagination of a Better Nation
Expand the imagination.
To a better nation.
Where it was easier to find your place in.
Imagination is a funny thing,
Because what I think of,
And what you think of are probably two different things.
Maybe we find some similarities.
The middle of a venn diagram.
But certainly more will weigh on the left and the right.
That there is why we never will reach the ultimate height.
We will never have this imagination nation,
The perfect country.
Too many differences on the left and the right, and literally none of you are right.
You may have good points, but if you cling to your side,
Versus working to the middle. Understanding and compromising.
We all will live in a state of compromise.
In my eyes,
I wish we could cut ties,
To these old lies.
And really stop picking sides.
Now
I want it now.
I want it NOW!
So I’m left wondering wow.
Possibly how,
The solution seems to take a while.
How can I make this outcome faster, better more complete. All while not really having to think.
Ah all this thought I must take a seat.
Because as much as I want it now,
I do not want to sit and figure how,
Or put in the time to solve the problem.
Oh no.
That would take too long, and see I worked all day,
I have been going through so many things.
No I will not put any thought to this,
I will complain and then watch TV,
Yea that suits me. Someone else will solve this problem.
Watch You’ll see.
Daily Prompt: Permit
I’m quite bored and wanted to do something a little different with my writing. This is my take on Permit:
Give me the permit, the pass to speak and I will talk so fast. Everyone will look at you and have to think.
My attitude is crass.
I step aggressively, no glass.
I’m in it to the WIN it so give me the permit now.
I’ll lay it down and then its time to chow.
Or feast because I’m coming at you like a beast, with no ease, blood dripping from my teeth.
The weapon is drawn from its sheath, Yea im ready my permit has been bequeathed.
So its finally my time to speak, I have the permit or pass and its time to speak. I have to make it last. I have to tell you the cold hard facts.
…
Get off social media,
Throw away those twitter beefs and politics, your not solving anyone’s pain.
You’re not making a difference and you’re wasting your brief existence, all for no gain.
Giving someone your precious moments of your closing minutes, the time of day just for the sake of arguing something you know you wont change.
How long do you have 50years? It goes quicker than you think.
So log offline,
Hug your family,
Read a book,
Get yourself a pole and hook.
Do literally anything.
You would do better watching paint dry at least you’d be thinking and possibly creating.
Whatever my time is up, I just hope you get the picture before that picture is old, dusty and put away. Hidden and will never see the light of day.
Many Years…
I have loved you many years.
Even if each day my love you do not reciprocate.
I’am ill.
But still..
I miss and think about you each day,
I think of each way,
That we could be..
I really should pass on you,
I know its what my family would like to see.
So goodbye.?. No
I love you so,
Your so kind to me…
Until I feel that late night stumble
Making me truly humble.
I miss the way this relationship used to be,
It used to be fun and filled with glee.
We shared our love with our friends,
But now we are just alone most days.
Sitting on the couch everyone one in my house asleep music playing as I have a fixed glaze.
Yet ten years of my life have been a slave to your love.
For better or worse,
One day you will certainly put me in a hearse.
But with you I feel far from 6 feet down.
Even if I look like a clown.
Usually I carry a frown so anything is better.
But…
After many years, I must say its time for us to go our separate ways.
I cannot be a slave for this alcohol.
No that is something I can not do at all.
*sorry for all of the grammatical errors. I wrote this intoxicated and quickly.
I Wish…
I wish I could find another way to make money,
I’m sick, always thinking always planning or plotting.
I’m so tired of sitting in a cubicle working 40 plus hours a week for a paycheck I spend faster than I made it. I watch everyone around me becoming more and more complacent. They used to tell me about their dreams, their aspirations.
They all had plans. They all had dreams, and now their broken like wings.
They can no longer fly.
Shit I used to say I would rather die! But here I’am.
Ready Set Poem 